下面是小编收集整理的趣味手机短信选集，本文共6篇，供大家参考借鉴，希望可以帮助到有需要的朋友。本文原稿由网友“滢沐欢”提供。
篇1：趣味手机短信选集
趣味手机短信选集
男人与狗，男人20象哈吧狗，甜言蜜语常在口，男人30象看门狗，烧饭洗衣最拿手，男人40象发疯狗，一见美女咬一口。
第一眼见到你，我就对自已说：你就是我今生的奋斗目标，我要追求你，拥抱你。我要宣布：我爱你……人民币
我恨死你了，一刀捅死你吧，我怕看见血；电死你吧，电费太贵；毒死你吧，现在假药太多；淹死你吧，没准儿你还会游泳。唉，算了，还是让我想死你吧！
你来时，撞开了我的心扉；你走时，却未给我掩上此门。从此，每逢一个有风的夜晚，我的心都被吹得一片冰凉！
婚前的男人是汽车，女人是加油站；婚后的男人依然是汽车，而女人却成了收费站。
人生最快乐的事情，就是我可以做别人做不到的'事情，比如我可以发短信骂你，而你却不知道我是谁，哈哈哈!
清澈的小河流淌着情思，伟大的友谊一看便知。美好的明天向谁告知？我把信息发给白痴~
乞丐：能给我一根针吗？我缝缝衣服。吝啬鬼：我在三楼，即使扔下去你也找不到。乞丐：那么请把针插在面包上扔下来吧。
某日有人在医院门口叫到：挂号！护士马上很有效率地问：叫什么名字，有没有来过？结果那个人一句话都不回答，护士抬头一看，原来那人是邮差。
世上最黑暗的人是谁？小叮当。为什么？因为他伸手不见五指。世上最有同情心的人是谁？小叮当，他总是向人伸出“圆”手！
一对夫妇结婚20周年，妻子提议杀一只鸡庆贺一番。丈夫冷冷地说：“何必把前的错误算在一只鸡的头上。”
延长爱情的惟一方法，就是推迟结婚的时间！
婚姻是键盘，太多秩序和规则；爱情是鼠标，一点就通。男人自比主机，内存最重要；女人好似显示器，一切都看得出来。
篇2：趣味英语脑筋急转弯选集
1 [How does a ghost open his gate?]
提示：skeleton key是“万能钥匙”的意思，skeleton是“骷髅”的意思，鬼魂开门用skeleton key当然是戏言而已。
2 [What cakes do children dislike?]
提示：cake的一个意思是“糕点”，另一个意思是“块”，例如：a cake of soap(一块肥皂)。
3 [What can a man be that a woman can't?]
提示：只有男人(man)才能当父亲(father)。
篇3：趣味英语脑筋急转弯选集
Questions:
1.What is the longest word in the English language
英语里最长的单词是什么
2.Why is Willie such a perfect idiot
威利为什么是个十足的傻瓜
3.Does your watch tell the time
你的手表显示时间吗
4.Why did the boy make his dog sit in the sun
这个男孩为什么让他的狗晒太阳
Keys:
1.“Smiles”, because there's a mile between the begining and
the end of it.
是“微笑”这个单词,因为这个单词从首字母到末尾字母之间是一
英里.
2.He practises a lot.
他时常练习.
3.No,you'll have to look at it.
不,你得自己看.
4.He wanted a hot dog.
他想要个热狗.
Notes:
2.practice makes perfect熟能生巧
3.tell v.显示;告诉,对…讲
篇4：趣味英语脑筋急转弯选集
1 Why is six afraid of seven?
key：Because seven eight nine.
2 What do you call your father-in-law's only child's mother-in-law?
key：Mom.
3 Why do lions eat raw meat?
key：Because they never learn to cook.
4 Why did the chicken cross the road?
key：To get to the other side.
5 Why did the fox cross the road?
key：To get the chicken.
6 Why did the gum cross the road?
key：It was on the chicken’s foot.
7 Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
key：To prove it was not a chicken.
8 Why did the weasel cross the road twice?
key：He was a double crosser.
9 Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
key：It didn’t have the guts.
10 What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?
key：Ann umbrella.
11 What's black and white and red all over?
key：A zebra that doesn’t know how to put lipstick on.
12 What is the largest ant in the world?
key：An elephant.
How much is a skunk worth?
key：One scent.
What kind of monkey can fly?
key：A hot air baboon.
Why did the cake like to play baseball?
key：Because it was a good batter.
What goes hahaha, plop?
key：Someone laughing their head off.
Why didn't the lady run away from the attacking lion?
key：They told her it was a maneating lion.
Why has no one ever spotted a leopard in Africa?
key：Because leopards are already born with spots.
What did the banana do when it heard the ice scream?
key：It split.
Swings by his thigh a thing most magical! Below the belt, beneath the folds of his clothes it hangs, a hole in its front end, stiff-set and stout, but swivels about. Levelling the head of this hanging instrument, its wielder hoists his hem above the knee: it is his will to fill a well-known hole that it fits fully when at full length. He has often filled it before. Now he fills it again.
key： a key
篇5：的趣味脑筋急转弯选集
1. 如果你丰收不起自己的某个朋友有什么优点时，能说明你什么呢? 答案：交错了朋友
2. 善有善报，恶有恶报是什么意思? 答案：什么报纸都没有
3. 世界脖子最短的长颈鹿生长在什么地方 答案：考场里
4. 在著名的中国古典文学“红楼梦”中，多愁善感的林黛玉为什么要葬花 答案：反正闲着也是闲着
5. 女人是本书，那么男人首先想翻的是哪一页? 答案：版权页
6. 人行走的时候，左右脚有什么不同 答案：一前一后
7. 一头牛加一捆草等于什么? 答案：还是一头牛
8. 你的阿姨有个姐姐，但你不叫她阿姨，她是谁? 答案：妈妈
9. 第一个登上月球的中国姑娘是谁? 答案：嫦娥
10. 张丽参加百人呼啦圈赛，一直坚持到了最后一刻，却被取消了冠军资格。为什么? 答案：太胖了卡在腰上了
11. 胆小鬼吃什么可以壮胆? 答案：狗胆,狗胆包天
12. 什么食品东、南、西、北都出产? 答案：瓜
13. 龙的儿子与狗的儿子有什么差别? 答案：一为龙子一为犬
14. 有两个句子：OO是，OO不是，OO代表两个字，代表三个字，两句中的OO与分别相等，如果两个句子同时成立，那该填上什么字? 答案：此句是六个字,此句不是六个字
15. 时钟什么时候不会走? 答案：他本身就不会走
篇6：趣味的英语脑筋急转弯选集
趣味英语脑筋急转弯【热门】
Questions:
1.Why is U the jolliest letter
为什么说U是最开心的字母
2.What is the difference between here and there
这里和那里的区别是什么
3.Thirteen different letters are hidden in this
design.Please find them.
有13个字母躲藏在此图内,你能找出来吗
Keys:
1.Because it's in the midst of fun.
因为它在开心的当中.
2.The letter“T”.
是字母T.
3.E,F,H,I,K,L,M,N,T,V,X,Y,Z
Notes:
1.jolly/'DN&li/ adj.欢乐的,快活的
midst/'midst/ n.中间,中部,当中
in the midst of fun有两层意思:
①字母u是单词fun当中的一个字母;
②字母u在欢乐的当中,当然最开心.
趣味英语故事【分享】
1 Who Is the Laziest?
Father:Well,Tom,I asked to your teacher today,and now I want to ask you a question.Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom:I don't know,father.
Father:Oh,yes,you do!Think!When other boys and girls are doing and writing,who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom:Our teacher,father.
中文：
父亲：哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题.你们班上谁最懒?
汤姆：我不知道,爸爸.
父亲：啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?
汤姆：我们老师,爸爸.
2 .Boxing and Running Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, “This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight.” Friend: “But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box.” Dan: “I’m teaching him how to run, too.”
拳击和赛跑
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。” 朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?” 丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”
3 Old Farmer Johnson was dying.The family was standing around his bed.With a low voice he said to his wife:“When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones.”
Wife:“No,I can't marry anyone after you.”
Johnson:“But I want you to.”
Wife:“But why?”
Johnson:“Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!”
译文：
老农约翰逊就要死了.他的家人都站在床边.他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯.”
妻子说：“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人.”
约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做.”
妻子：“为什么?”
约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我.”
英语笑话分享
1 A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
男人想要的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，他也会买;而对于女人，即使是不想要的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，她也会买。
2 The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa. “Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the 2nd time will be fined $60. Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of $180. Are there any questions?” At this moment, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Umm...How much for a season pass?”
女生宿舍将全面禁止男生进入，男生宿舍也同样不得女生光临。
“不论是谁，一旦违规，初犯将被罚款20美元。再犯要被罚款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罚款。还有什么疑问么?”
这时人群中一个男同学问道，“那么一个季度通行证需要多少钱?”
3 Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.
男孩：我可以给你买
杯饮料吗?
女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。
4 Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.
医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜。
