下面给大家分享陈词滥调或者不着边际的赞美只会惹人生厌，本文共2篇，欢迎阅读!本文原稿由网友“甜橙手册”提供。
篇1：陈词滥调或者不着边际的赞美只会惹人生厌
陈词滥调或者不着边际的赞美只会惹人生厌，赞美的直接目的是让对方高兴，如果你不想做一个毫无特色的销售人员的话，赞美的话也得有新意才行，
某高档西装的广告部负责人洋洋曾经历过这样的事情：
经过几次的电话预约，一位商界奇才终于答应同洋洋见面。洋洋很珍惜这次机会，因为她的目的是让此人成为她们服装品牌的代言人。在一般情况下，商界人士是不屑于为其他人做广告的，“我又不是明星，那些出风头的事找别人去做吧!”这是他们的观点。为了在短暂有限的时间内能够说服这位商界奇才，洋洋制订了详细的计划。她的计划是：想办法先赢得他的好感，然后努力延长对话的时间，这样才有可能成功。
见到了久负盛名的张先生后，洋洋打过招呼，然后微笑着说：“您好，我仔细阅读了您的成功经历，您真是一个商界奇才啊!”
张先生显得波澜不惊，说：“啊，真是奇怪，现在每一个人见到我都这样说。其实，我并不那样认为，这也是我给每一个人的回答。”
“不，不。您太谦虚了，中国像您这样的人物真的太少了。”洋洋唯恐张先生不高兴，赶紧又说。
“洋洋小姐，如果你是来跟我说这些的话，那么你可以走了。因为这些话对我没有任何意义，如果我想听这样的话，随便拉一个人进来可能都比你说得好。如果你没有其他的事情了，请不要浪费大家的时间。请原谅我的直白，因为时间对我来说实在是太宝贵了。很抱歉。”
洋洋动了动嘴唇，什么话都没有说出来。
遇到这样的情况，是洋洋始料不及的。她没有想到自己的好心赞美却得来这样的结果，真正的来意还没有说出，就被下了逐客令。问题出在哪了呢?问题就在于洋洋的赞美太过于普通，甚至让人觉得听这样的赞美就等于在浪费时间。
有位成功的推销员说过，在她的推销生涯中，遇到过这样一位客户：他听到别人称赞他特别的胡须时便大为高兴，但对于那些他对社会所做出的巨大贡献和有关他成就的赞誉，他却不放在心上，让人颇觉怪异。这样的顾客，仿佛很难把握他们的心理。
事实上，这种心理是每个人都有的。大概已经有无数的人在他面前称赞了这位成功人士在商场上的英勇善战及富于谋略的经商才干，但是，他作为一个商人，不论在这方面怎样赞美他，也只是赞歌中的同一支曲子，不会使他产生自豪感。
然而，如果你对他经商才能之外的方面加以赞赏，就等于在赞词中增加了新的条目，他便会感到无比的快乐和满足，认为自己除了那些之外，还有更加令人着迷的东西。可见，在恭维他人时，捧出新鲜的内容是多么的重要。
钱钟书先生的称赞也像他的《围城》一样充满智慧的创意，给人以新鲜而受用的感觉。
有一年冬天，他访问日本，在早稻田大学文学教授座谈会上即席作了《诗可以怨》的演讲。他的开场白是：“到日本来讲学，是很大胆的举动，就算一个中国学者来讲他的本国学问，他虽然不必通身是胆，也得有斗大的胆。理由很明白简单，日本对中国文化各方面的卓越研究，是世界公认的;通晓日语的中国学者也满心钦佩和虚心采用你们的成果，深知要讲一些值得向各位请教的新鲜东西，实在不是轻易的事。我是日语的文盲，面对着贵国汉学或支那学的丰富宝库，就像一个既不懂号码锁又没有开撬工具的穷光棍，瞧着大保险箱，只好眼睁睁地发愣，
但是，盲目无知往往是勇气的源泉。”
在开场白中，钱钟书先生表示对日本汉学研究中国人不敢等闲视之，即使是中国专家在日本讲中国学问，也要对听众的水平作最充分的估计;而后段表示自己不通晓日语，除了有勇气之外，没什么资本。殊不知，钱先生正是以这种有意识地自嘲式的赞扬，使在座的所有日本听众既感动又受用。
泛泛的流于普通的赞美方式已被大家所熟悉，人们也越来越认识到赞美所能带来的种种好处，那些平常的人人都会的赞美已不能达到预期的效果，赞美还要注意讲究适当的方式，有创意的不同于众人的赞美方式会更容易被人所接受。
《魏郑公续录》一书中，曾记载了长孙皇后与唐太宗的故事。一天，唐太宗满脸怒气地罢朝回内宫，贤慧的长孙皇后忙问其故。唐太宗开口就大骂：“我总有一天要杀了这 的!”
“陛下，您要杀谁呢?”长孙皇后不胜惊奇。
“杀谁?还不是那姓魏的老家伙吗?什么事都要他多嘴，好像偏他骨头硬，在金殿上总是和我过不去!不杀他不解我心头之恨!”唐太宗的火气委实不小。
听完唐太宗的话，长孙皇后不禁抽了一口冷气，心想：“皇上听不进忠言直谏。竟要杀魏征!”
怎么办?长孙皇后急中生智，第二天趁皇上早朝，她穿上朝服。来到金銮殿。按当时的礼仪，皇后穿上朝服，意味着受册、朝会等重大典礼。唐太宗一见，大惑不解，忙问其故。
“陛下，臣妾特来贺喜!”长孙皇后说。
“何喜之有?”唐太宗更感奇怪。
“陛下，臣妾听说皇上圣明，臣子才会真诚。现今魏征如此真诚，敢于忠言直谏，这是皇上圣明的缘故啊!臣妾怎敢不来道贺!”
长孙皇后的话，说得唐太宗高兴起来，心里也亮堂了，终于打消了要杀魏征的念头。
封建帝王，位尊至极，触动一下往往会龙颜大怒。即使是常常告诫大臣们忠言直谏的开明君主李世民，遇到为政事与著名谏臣魏征发生争执的情形，也会有生气发火甚至余怒未消之时，这一次竟然还暗含杀机!如何扭转这一局面?机敏的长孙皇后利用自己的特殊身份，身着朝服肯定并赞扬了唐太宗是圣明的君主，而魏征的忠言直谏则是太宗圣明的结果。这句美誉给唐太宗极大的精神满足，因为主明臣直正是唐太宗所追求的开明政治，所以，说得唐太宗转怒为喜。
赞美的力量是巨大的，有创意的赞美甚至可以为自己洗脱罪责，免受处分。下面我们来看一个聪明的女子是如何通过赞美使自己摆脱困境的。
古时候，一个叫彭玉麟的官员，有一次路过一条狭窄的小巷。一个女子正在用竹竿晾晒衣服，一不小心竹竿掉下，正好打在彭的头上。彭勃然大怒，指着女子大骂起来。
那女子一看，正是官员彭玉麟，不禁冒了冷汗出来。但她猛然间急中生智，便正色地说：“你这副腔调，像行伍里的人，所以这样蛮横无礼。你可知彭宫保就在我们此地!他清廉正直，假使我去告诉他老人家，怕要砍了你的脑袋呢!”
彭玉麟一听这女子夸赞自己，不禁喜气上升，而且又意识到自己的失态，马上心平气和地走了。
晒衣女失手掉下竹竿，正打在路过的当地官员彭玉麟头上，可谓无意却巧极。于是，这位官员大怒而骂，所幸晒衣女尚能认识他，而且能够急中生智，采用美誉推崇的方式来遏制对方。她装作不知道对方是谁反而斥责对方蛮横无礼，并且夸赞彭宫保清廉正直，说向他告状会治你的罪。这并非“当面”夸赞，却胜过当面夸赞，说得彭玉麟心里美滋滋的：自己在民间居然有这么好的吏治声誉，真不应该为这些许小事而损害形象。幡然醒悟之后，便转怒为笑，心平气和地离开了。
篇2：9个惹人生厌的交际习惯
There’s something to be said for slow and steady progress. But there’s also something to be said for strong, decisive, sweeping action. When it comes to bad, self-defeating habits, there’s no time like today to quit cold turkey. For some reason I’ve been more aware lately of the annoying social habits of other people. Worse than that, I’ve then been noticing many of the same behaviors in myself. Cutting out these negative habits makes it simpler to foster good relationships by getting to the heart of productive communication, so why not start today?
1. Seeking attention by complaining.
I spoke to someone yesterday who all but refused to talk about the positive aspects of their life. After listening to their troubles, I asked about some of the cool projects they have going on. Within two sentences, they were back to complaining about trivial things. We all need to share our troubles with friends or strangers from time to time, but don’t fall into the habit of turning conversations into your own personal dumping ground 100 percent of the time. It’s an easy way to get attention, but it’s a poor way to keep it; and it’s a poor way to view your life.
2. Focusing on your inner monologue instead of the dialogue in front of you.
“Holy crap! That’s a great idea. Wow. What can I say that will sound smart and clever? I really hope they think I’m intelligent. I could touch on symbolism or make a reference to post-modernism. Wait C what did they just ask me?” Stay focused on the other person’s words and points. People rarely mind when you say, “Hmm. Let me think about that for a second.” Quite the opposite, since it shows that you’re taking the conversation seriously. If you compose your answers while someone else is speaking, you’re really only having half a conversation. Read Just Listen.
3. Multi-tasking while you chat.
Even if you are a professional multi-tasker, if you’re talking to someone, talk to them, and that’s it. Don’t browse online, don’t watch TV, don’t update your to-do list, and please, don’t eat while you’re on the phone. Whether they say so or not, it really annoys the person you’re talking to. If you really don’t have the time to talk, be honest and find another time, or cut it short.
4. Not paying attention to the people you care about most.
Pretending to listen while your mind wanders to your work day, etc. Do you really think your loved ones can’t tell? They can. And even more importantly, they need you to listen sincerely and thoughtfully. There is no greater gift of love and no greater expression of caring that you can offer the special people in your life, than your undivided time and attention. You need to remember that ‘love’ is listening, and everyone wants to be heard. Read The 5 Love Languages.
5. Constantly fishing for compliments.
“Oh, I look terrible today.” C after someone compliments you. “I just threw it together at the last minute.” C when you obviously dressed up. “I’m really not good at things like this.” C when the people you’re with know you are. Please. Stop. It’s not flattering. Read Changing Behavior.
6. De-emphasizing compliments with self-effacing remarks.
It’s okay to say “thank you” when you’re complimented. By making a self-effacing comment, you nearly force the other person to repeat their compliment, which is not a gracious thing to do. Acknowledging a compliment isn’t snobby C like you’re admitting that you think you’re just grand C it’s a simple courtesy. Besides, you earned it. Saying “thank you” not only makes the other person feel good, it’s a healthy reminder that you’re responsible for some really good things in your life.
7. Cutting people off mid-sentence.
The only time this is okay is when you’re in an intense brainstorming session. Or you’ve got an urgent situation to attend to. Or you haven’t seen your best friend in months. Okay, so this habit is kind of elastic, but you get the gist. Most of the time, interrupting just means that you’re missing the best parts of the conversation. Plus, you’re showing your chat partner that you value your own thoughts over theirs.
8. An unsupportive attitude.
The greatest compliment you can give to someone is to believe in them and let them know you care. When you see something true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t hesitate to express your appreciation. When you see something that is not true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t neglect to give them your wholehearted blessings and best wishes.
9. Trying to please everyone.
This one is about keeping your sanity. No matter how loud their opinions are, others cannot choose who you are. The question should not be, “Why don’t they like me when I’m being me?” it should be, “Why am I wasting all my time and energy worrying what they think of me?” If you are not hurting anyone with your actions, keep moving forward with your life. Be happy. Be yourself. If others don’t like it, let them be. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody. (Marc and I discuss this in more detail in the Relationships chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Afterthoughts and Questions
Obviously we all slip up sometimes, so don’t berate yourself when you do. On occasion, I too have been guilty of every single one of these negative social habits.
So with that said, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Any bad habits you’d like to add to the list? Any exceptions that matter? Please continue the conversation by leaving a comment below.
